REAL TALK- Part 1 Which Dancer Type Are You, in the Social Dance Scene?

val flyerPART 1- Hey Gentlemen…Which type of Kizomba Dancer are you?
Each one has its strengths and weaknesses….
Ladies, have fun reading this!
(PART 2 are caricatures of Women Kizomba Dancers)

1) Simple Yet Effective Dancer:
(+) He’s smooth, confident, has solid basics, is very present and gives his energy to you. The repetition is often welcome, so she gets used to his moves and can enjoy herself.
(- ) Not much variety, and only goes to the beat, not following different tempos or playing with the music, but lovely. At least you feel safe with this dancer.

2) Suave or Mystery Man Dancer:
(+) He’s sexy, sensual, musical and uses small body movements. His biggest seductive tool is using light, suggestive hand movements to create sensuality, notably brushes and caresses. He could rock your world and make you feel in love! But as the dance is over, he says thank you and walks away, leaving you wanting more! It’s hard to flirt with him and get to know him…
(-)  If u don’t have chemistry with him, or feel awkward with your body movement, the sensations could be overwhelming or unwelcome. Of course a true Suave man will go to your pace, and adjust to your level.

3) Energizer Dancer:
(+) His kizomba never slows down- it could feel like showy semba, which is fun, but does a million moves per minute that don’t necessarily go to the music.
(-) He’s more into himself even if his lead is effective, which means lady’s wont feel him connecting. It’s fun over sensuality.

4) The Talker:
(+)  Unless u really like what he’s saying, there are no positives to talking while dancing kizomba. We want the trance, baby!
(-)  He can’t focus on dance if he’s talking which means you can’t reach kizombaland, and may as well SIT DOWN to continue the convo.

5) The Creative & Musical Dancer:
(+) He’s fun, challenging, uses lots of contrast, and is highly musical.
(-) You may not have the technique or body movement to keep up with him, and you may even get down on yourself or feel intimidated. You just hope when he asks you to dance again he’ll feel your improvement! Sometimes being creative may even come outside of the kizomba realm…

6) The Discipliner:
(+) Unless you are a newbie and want to get free ‘lessons’ with someone who isn’t even a teacher, then great. Grab all the freebies u want. He’ll love the attention you give him. He’ll feel very useful!
(-)  He could be using this technique as a way to make the lady feel insecure while boosting his ego. Nothing like a man teaching you on the dance floor to feel patronized…which ruins the connection and trance.

7) The Hunter (could be confused with the Suave Dancer):
(+)  He’sexy, his energy is all over you and all he wants is to ‘connect’. Especially if you’re new to the scene, he he.
(- ) He may rock your world at first, until you realize he does this with all new girls, and u realize the experienced dancers never dance with him. He attends all the level 1 classes in order to meet the newbies too!

8) The Fraud:
(+) If you’re a newbie, you have no idea that he doesn’t even know kizomba basics so who cares! You got to dance! Yay! But if you’re experienced, watch out Mr. Fraud! She will likely have spotted you out and doesn’t even feel badly for saying No Thank you to your invitation to dance.
(- )  The fraud sees other men being able to get close wtih so many pretty girls and thinks that if he just gets in there and pulls some of those moves on you-or touches you however he wants- he’s gonna get just as much action. Example, it’s the first song, and he grabs the nape of your neck, or tickles your neck. It’s not about dancing at all.

(I’ve left about 3 men on the dance floor because they were touchy, frauds or touchy frauds. Ew, just Ewwww!).

 9) The Creep
(-) Let’s just hope this ISNT’ you. Creepy behaviour includes being part fraud, part touchy fraud, plus demonstrates awkward social behaviour. For example, he stalks you/corners you, to ask you to dance even though you always say no. (Ugggggh!)
(-) Creepy means he doesn’t pick up on social cues or body language and is insistent.
(-) Creepy could be insolent and entitled, like he grabs your arm to dance without asking. A Suave dancer could do the same action but would know his boundaries, and knows that there’s already been a good rapport established…and also takes her arm with more gentleness. Or asks to take you home when you’ve never had a real conversation, showing he is overeager. Yeah, not a good look! Creepy can also be the next type:

10) The (Literal) Cock Blocker
(+) Let’s get real. A woman can feel a man’s intentions, for the most part. If she feels ANOTHER kind of intention, she’ll know if it’s on purpose or not! Sometimes, depending on the body heights, it’s inevitable to graze, to brush, to bump into. If she is good at controlling her hip movements, she can contour his groin but sometimes not even possible-he just blocks her. Maybe he forgot to lay it flat to his left side that day… Or maybe he couldn’t help it…And depending on what your rapport is, maybe you’re ok with that -hey it’s only natural. Maybe you’re secretly happy to receive a sign to see if he is into you, because you’re having a ‘thing’ and pheromones are flying high.

(-) If the rapport isnt there, omg, it’s shocking and way too direct. Slow things down! If a woman feels tense, avoid any flirting. Make her feel safe first, by DANCING her. Read the signs! Of course that could be a whole other blog…So ladies, if you are freaked out, just do what I do: Grab him by the shoulders, tell him ‘I want to dance KIZOMBA. Got it?’ and walk away.
I walked away recently because, during our 2nd song dancing together, homie was getting all hot with me, and I stopped the dance. I avoided him for another day at the festival. Oh he got it. He knew. We ended up dancing a semba which was super fun (he was an amazing dancer) and then danced kizomba with 1000% full respect after that. Phew! If you dont react, how will he know he’s overstepping his boundaries? Maybe he’ll think you like it! So…call a spade a spade. Haha.

Published by StephGoDanz

Stephanie has been teaching dance since 2000 and dancing professionally prior to this date! Community building, teaching, travelling to learn and movement are her specialty! Let's plug in to an uplifting, vitalizing and vibrant world of dance, music and culture!

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