Part 2- What type of Dance Follower are You? REAL TALK

This is written all in fun, about the ladies, for the men to agree with or disagree with. Remember there are strengths and weaknesses for each type. Note that leaders and followers can be male or female. 

1. The Man Whisperer
(+) This seductress gets ‘right in there’, so if you like cozy, you’re in for a treat. She whispers in your ear, looks at your adoringly, feels at one with your body and her hands are all up in your neck and hair. And he may just love that.
(–) She could be perceived as having MES, otherwise known as the “Man Eater Syndrome!” He may find himself feeling slightly violated with her pressing herself on his body.  Often I see men doing this funny giggle, half out of amusement, half out of being uncomfortable and not sure what to do.

2. The Listener
(+) This is seemingly ideal from a follower’s point of view: Calm, present, attentive, precise. She is musical enough to ‘see’ where he’s going with a move or movement, but has enough control not to overtake his musical plan. She feels at one with your body without being sexual.
(-) If a lady is a perfect listener, it can make a leader feel a LOT of pressure. Her perfection makes his insecurities stand out more. He will start to doubt his dominant abilities and feel incompetent. He’ll secretly wish she would make some mistakes. He’ll end up saying thank you fairly quickly because he feels he has nothing more to offer her and is wasting her time. 

3. The Snob
(+) She is very selective and prefers quality over quantity. She knows who is compatible and a good contender. If she chose you, whoa! dude! If you’re an experienced leader, you’ll be so happy…
(–) She’s not about sharing, she IS about fulfilling her addiction needs and getting her dance on. If you’re not stimulating to her, she won’t connect with you and even YOU’ll want to end the dance as fast as possible. Who wants to have that experience…moving on! 

4. The Reprimander. Type A Control Freak
(+) Oh dear. A positive? Um….Some men like that. Most men don’t. (?!)
(-) This type of follower has harsh expectations of what the lead ‘should’ do, instead of letting him figure things out. Reprimanders need to simmer down and tell themselves, dancing is not about being right or wrong. It’s understandable if you paid money to find out how to dance ‘correctly’, and you expect EVERYONE to know the rules and execute them perfectly, just like you. The fact is, we all need tolerance and patience while the leaders gain experience. Even if it’s not going according to plan, try and follow perfectly, whatever it is, and feel empathy for the lead. (I dare you to try and lead. It’s HARD!!!). Don’t put him down!!!! You always have a choice to say ‘No thank you’ if you’re a snob dancer, but as long as you said yes, give him good vibes, give love to your 3-minute man! NO ONE likes to be put down.

5. The Ton of Bricks Dancer 

(+) You may like the fact that she needs you to guide her and that feels good. You could change her life by giving her a simple, repetitive, connecting dance where she feels safe (ask her to cover your massage bills later).
(–) She feels heavy and slumped down, because she needs you for her support and balance. Hey it happens to all of us….please be patient. It’s hard to be a follower…you try it! Ladies, to avoid being waterbuffalo, lift your sternum up, engage your core, put some tone in your legs, point your toes, shoulders back: TECHNIQUE WILL CURE THAT! 

6. I’m-All-About-That-Butt dancer
(+) Wow, that’s nice to look at….look how she mooooove! I’m gonna be like Sara Lopez!
(–) Men will feel constant jiggling around (oops). It’ll feel like static in the connection, and you’ll get the impression you’re dancing without her. Hey, may as well do your own dance, honey! Kizomba is about expressing not impressing… Don’t try so hard to stick ur butt out or move it this way and that way. DO move your butt if you know the pathways, know body isolations and can make each movement super small and subtle to express the music. Without disrupting the lead. 

7. The Ice Dancer
(+) She forces the lead to ‘reign it in’, and go back to very calm, basic things before trying harder moves. She is stiff, and doesn’t yet trust the lead, so resists momentum or closeness.
(–) She’s very tense, probably coming from salsa dancing. It’s too hard to move her, especially on the cha chas (volta): You cha cha, and she stays behind,  no matter how much your right arm tenses up and pushes her, no matter how tight your core is. 

8. The Dreamer
(+) This follower is in LOVE w EVERYONE! Big smile on her face, beaming, ecstatic! Every man feels like a star around her and loves that she asks him. She is known to never end the dance herself. Other women think, “Wow, is that guy really THAT good? I guess i’ll say yes next time he asks me.”
(–) She is possibly not self aware and not such a technical dancer because her head is so often in the clouds and isn’t analyzing anything….but hey, she’s still good and she never says no to you. 

9. The Performer

(+) Ahhhh yes. Well the only positive is if the lead doesn’t dance so well, and is more than happy to have her take over!

(-) The follower who is more concerned about how she looks rather than how she feels to him. Often looking around to see who is watching, she makes many blunders from being unfocused. He feels lack of connection as well, like things are out of synch, or she goes to the right when he leads her to the left.

10. The Serial Talker
(+) If you’re an experienced lead and you can multi-task, then hey, have a pleasant/sexy/overbearing/meaningless conversation. Why not. Of course your musicality will probably go out the window because that requires a lot of focus. You may want to chat her up and find stuff out about her, since you don’t get the chance to talk with her outside of dancing. If you’re not a good multi-tasker, omg, this can throw you right off. May as well just stand there and stop dancing. (Don’t sit coz then she’ll stop talking. Just listen!)

The Snorter. It’s only happened once though, so it doesn’t make the list…..but as I was leading, this lady breathed while snorting, like 5 times in one song. Haha. I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing. And she was very elegant too!

Published by StephGoDanz

Stephanie has been teaching dance since 2000 and dancing professionally prior to this date! Community building, teaching, travelling to learn and movement are her specialty! Let's plug in to an uplifting, vitalizing and vibrant world of dance, music and culture!

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